Love those massages!

This Tuesday Sy (and the ex) and I went off to the state fair. I am a BIG fan of the state fair because they have those little booths of things that you can buy, the hall of flowers and the petting zoo. (SQUEE! Baby animals!) I am not so big into the rides, but hey, to each their own.

 This year upon entering the main front gates, we started to walk down the middle isle of the booths to make our way outside. I was looking at all the lovely things that you can purchase and from behind, someone put their hands on my shoulders and began rubbing. Oh my goodness! It was awesome! I was told this person sort of appeared out of no where but I didn't care. It was those massage guys from the mall that are always trying to lure you in for fifteen minutes of zen before you continued with your day. I saw no harm in that and I waved Jess and Sy off to come back to the massage booth after my 15 minutes of a mini break. I mean really, after the weekends sprint through the wilds, I needed some massage.

Ohhhhh yeah....

Don't mind if I *do*, sir! Do your massage magic!

Ok, massage guy from the mall, do your best. I am ready to be taken on a journey of total relaxation while my stress melts away like wax from a candle. (*note: I think this was my main mistake of the day, trusting a massage guy from the mall, currently stationed at the state fair) What follows was not in fact a journey of total relaxation, but confusion and pain. The massage itself was so ... hardcore and acutely severe that "deep muscle massage" would be like saying the Titanic had a slight mishap at sea. It was so deep I am pretty sure the bones in my body were palpitated, stretched and reorganized to some new form and structure that any biologist or anthropologist would love to study. But oddly enough, the dude was getting every knot and snarl that I had going on. He got them thoroughly. He got them so well, my muscles will never ever *think* of developing a knot again.

the beating 

The fleecing

 As expected I had no knots in my back, joints, hair or otherwise at the end of the inquisition.. umm.. I mean massage. I dutifully paid the man the required amount of money, slithered off to find the guy I was dating and my son for a hug and some consolation. As I was drifting through the crowds like a wraith, I wondered to myself...
 "Was that the worst massage ever, or the most gentle mugging in history?"

Math / physics for the real world.

This past weekend was my son's fourth birthday and as a super fun special surprise, the guy I was dating and I purchased a BIKE for him. Not just a lame little kids trike, but an honest to goodness two wheeled pedal bike. It is meant to look like a dirt bike, complete with the front racing number on the handle bars, front and rear brakes (also the brakes when you pedal backwards for kids) and a day glow, safety orange paint job. Slick. Just what he has been asking for since he could speak.

As mentioned in the intro post, I am into tech things. True to form, I found a SUPER awesome gadget for the bike that is touted to make training wheels obsolete and make crashes a thing of the past. Or at least reduce the amount of blood spilled in the process. Either way I was thrilled to buy it and charge it up at home. The "it" I speak of is a gyro-wheel. The eleven pound, sixteen inch wheel has a rapidly rotating gyro (disk) inside that at full spin, will prevent the tire from tipping over. Thusly, letting us ditch the training wheels and use the sick looking red and black gyro-wheel to help our young lad learn the ins and outs of riding a bike.

 We had the bike ready to unwrap, but decided not to add the gyro-wheel so Sy could get used to the bike and we could adjust seat height etc before installing the wheel itself. I charged the tire and off we went to that guy's family for the party. Everything was picture perfect! We swam in the pool, we had great BBQ for dinner, ate some yummy, icing laden cake and opened some wicked gifts. Then, it was time for the bike. He opened it and was the happiest kid in the state! (Who wouldn't be with a safety orange, pseudo-dirt bike?!) During the course of the day, Jess and I had been telling his family about this really awesome tire that would let us take those blasted training wheels off and let my child experience the pure awesomeness that is bike riding. The family wanted to see this thing in action, and lucky enough, we brought it AND it was fully charged!!

Shiny and new!

 The OOOOOOs and AHHHHHHHHs were deafening. It powered up like a WWII era jet, the red and black inserts spun with a hypnotic hum and people were captivated. I don't blame them, this thing is sick.  As they were all watching the dynamic gyro-wheel do its stuff, that guy I was dating suggested I give it a bit of a push and knock the side of it to show how rock solid this powerhouse of a toy was. I happily obliged! Look at this, all! It doesn't fall over! It picked up speed and I gave it a bit of a kick, true to the manufacturer's word, nary a wobble.

 As I basked in the fact that this was possibly a close second to the greatest gift on the planet, I began to notice that the infallible tire was indeed *still* not falling over. And it was picking up speed. And it was traveling down a hill. *Still* picking up speed and not falling over. As the mental calculations were adding up, a pit formed in my stomach. There is a CREEK down there!! One flashback of the directions echoed in my mind. "Do not submerge in water.. Doooo Noooot subbbmeeerge in waaaaaaattterrrrrrr!"

 Recalling another equally ominous image (the price tag), I decided NOW was the time for action. See Dani. Run, Dani, RUN!

RUN Dani! RUUUN!

 Unfortunately, my lack ability to calculate physics and apply it in the real world resulted in a slight *cough* delay of my sprint. (I had to carry a one then invert the fraction and that trips up everyone!) The  gyro-wheel blissfully rolled over the brambles, through the bushes, then in an awe inspiring climax, launched itself off the bank and smack dab into the middle of the flowing creek. As it was floating and spinning in the creek, it still didn't fall over. Kudos, Gyrobike, makers of Gyro-wheel! It really works!

Down periscope!

 In spite of the fact that I am used to chasing down small fast moving juggernauts (Sy), the fact that I was laden with energy boosting carbs from dinner and have the fight or flight response of a gazelle, I did not make it in time. Hurling myself downhill over uneven ground was only the first obsticle. I had to navigate my way as gracefully as I could (the audience of family members was still in a trance from the exposure to awesome) through a twine fence, and barrel my way through the barbs and stickers of bushes before finally coming to a crescendo of my own, diving in after the gyro-wheel.

 Standing there in the creek, dripping wet and holding a whirring, clonking Gyro-wheel, I felt triumphant! I got it!! It was only dripping a little, right? And the strange buzzing was there before.... right? I didn't care at that moment because all I wanted to do was get out of the creek and dry this sucker off.

 The party wound down a few hours after the creek incident and we were able to pack up the bounty of gifts and return home. We dried it off as best as we could, took it apart (bye bye warranty!) and let it air dry for a few days. After looking it over for rust or any kind of real damage, Jess's attendant put it back together for us... and it still works!!!

intro to me!

Hello all! (Whoever all of you may be.) This is me.

Yep, you guessed it. I am a cog in a giant machine... well at work I am. Here is a slightly better representation of the coginess that I experience. Its not at all that I am bitter or resentful that I work in a giant, faceless corporation because that is not at all how it is.

I just work there. =)

I love tech stuff, I deal with the general public daily and we don't ever use our names, just ID numbers. Unfortunately I cannot tell you all what I *do* for a living, because its all bound by confidentiality etc etc. I do what I do, we don't go by our names and all of the rules and regulations are lovingly signed by "Mgt". I do have a flesh and blood boss who is in the office with us as well, but the upper "Mgt." is more like the ever elusive quark or atom. Few people have seen them in real life, but there have been grainy black and white pictures of them circulating in the monthly company newsletter. I'm sure "Mgt." are a very nice and wonderful group of people, I just have not had the opportunity to meet them. As a cog, I probably would only see them if I were to be replaced.

Loads of fun stuff goes on at work in the minimally decorated break room and I bet some of that may seep into this blog from time to time. I do have a small stress release from the vicarious trauma at work, I draw. I don't draw particularly WELL, but I draw. As you have seen in the first two pics, they are basic drawings but they get the point across.

Enough about work. I started to blog to vent some steam / pressure by way of goofy drawings that pretty much sum up events or other ridiculous situations that I find myself in. I am not sure how I happen to wander into such silliness as often as I do, but hey, at least you can waste five minutes or so of your workday by looking. Win, win, right?

I also have a small family outside of work that I am very proud of. I was dating a guy (that ended in 2011) and I have a lovely 4 year old son. They are super fun and what I enjoy coming home to at the end of the day. My (ex)boyfriend is more than likely going to be phased out of my drawings, because that ended.  Mu son (Sy) is a total bundle of energy and is very smart. I know that is a momma talking, but really he is smart. He is so sweet and has the BEST big blue eyes in the US of A! I am pretty regular, except I really dig tattoos. I mean really dig them! All of the tattoos that I have are easily hidden ("Mgt." has some sort of legislation about body art / modifications buried deep in the 14 pound employee handbook) but are pretty sweet. Here is a rendering of the fam.

Pay no attention to the guy on the right. He's outta here!!

I hope you enjoy your moments here looking over the blog as it comes together!! Have a wonderful day!