Walking on Sunshine. Wait, thats *NOT* Sunshine!!!

 There are times in peoples lives where you need the solidarity of a group of people that have shared a common experience and I am no different. Some people enjoy Harley Davidsons and join a bike group, others like stupid blogs and find the most ridiculous ones that they can, other people have a hankering for Hello Kitty band-aids and are able to find a flock of people that have that same bend. (Just to make it clear, I do not have a joke writing, Harley Davidson riding, Hello Kitty fetish. Just sayin')

 A few weeks ago I signed up for a group that I thought I could get a lot out of and the first meeting was last Tuesday. Before I packed myself off to the group, I made a wonderful dinner, gave a ton of silly kisses to Sy, had a LOVELY phone conversation that just set up one of the best moods I have had in a great long time! What a PERFECT day! The sun was just setting as I collected myself into the car for my very first meeting! I hoped I wouldn't say anything silly, or be too obviously "new"(crowds of new people are very intimidating to me), so to ease my mind I turned on my playlist. I have lots and LOTS of songs (as most people do) and for some reason, it was ON that night! Songs I had not heard in a long time were played and for the drive over there, it was AMAZING!

Love Katrina and the Waves!

Very rarely does the playlist pick such gems for me to listen to!

See the crease? I draw on real paper, people.

 WOW! This whole playlist with all sorts of genres was just rocking all the good stuff! I was swept away by nostalgia and fuzzy feelings.

Dropkick Murphys?! WHAAAAT?!

From the beautiful weather, the amazing phone call, Sy being just chewably adorable, to the playlist, my life was perfect! I hit every green light on the way there. Oh yeah, perfect day!

The 90's RULED!

There is only one problem with this whole story. (No, not that I am not making it all up.) Unfortunately, I forgot  precisely what group it was I was headed to. Not to say I had forgotten the NAME of the group, just the point of the group that I was about to attend. Had I remembered, I don't think I would have sailed into that room with such swagger.

Ah crap. Sinking feeling in 3... 2... 1...

The feeling of total inappropriateness enveloped me like an ill fitting, hand made, itchy Christmas sweater. Once I owned that room, there was no giving it up. I held the floor. With sunshine and rainbows pouring in behind me like Rainbow Brite's drunken sorority sisters, I felt like I had just "pre-gamed" an AA group. Terrible.

Way to go.

 I just walked into a Grief share group with the blinding smile of Ghandi. The whole point of going there was to bond with other people who have had significant losses in their lives, but let me tell you, I sure didn't LOOK the part. There were gray haired older people, looking morosely into their tepid coffee then scanning the room half heartedly with rheumy eyes. There were middle aged people with their eyebrows knitted into a permanent scowl. And there was me. They all looked over as I swept into the room, the smell of unicorns and meadows boiling in behind me. The only thing that I could do in that moment was defend myself. They didn't know my story, I had a right to be there! So with an overly loud voice I announce, "Sorry! I really AM sad! Sometimes.... just not right now!"

 Typical "Dani" fashion. What a dork.

 Thankfully, they didn't turn on me with pitchforks and torches. Instead, a very pleasant grey haired woman led me to the table where the tepid coffee was fermenting and the snacks were resting comfortably. She welcomed me with a tear soaked smile and in her own quiet way reminded me that even though we all grieve, happiness is always allowed. =)